Truly absorbing and retaining what someone says takes work; it’s much more involved than hearing them talk

My granddad used to grab my hands and hold them still when he needed a break from my nonstop chatter.

He would joke with me that I wouldn’t be able to speak if he handcuffed me — and that’s not far from the truth.

Recently I kept a tight grip on my hands during a video shoot to not only stay within the time restrictions but also to slow down my pace. 

The more free my hands, the faster I talk and the more animated I become. It’s as if I need to draw the story for you in the air as it rolls out of my mouth.

And I do talk really fast especially when I’m excited about what I’m sharing.

Active listening takes concentration and intentionality. It requires focus, processing what is being said for understanding and the ability to respond appropriately. And if you are able to actually remember what was said, then you know you succeeded.

To listen for understanding of what is being said and not merely being polite by letting the other person talk may be more rare than we realize.

Try it out this week. You’ll know when you are only hearing the other person rather than truly listening and you’ll start noticing when it happens to you.  

—Jennifer Davis Rash