Ever feel like you are letting everyone down?

Keeping count of the number of friends and family who feel they are letting everyone around them down can no longer be done with my fingers. I’m not sure what has so many stuck in this season right now but it is a feeling I fight from time to time myself.

I’ve determined it is never quite as extreme as it seems but when the feeling hits, it is hard not to believe it is every bit as bad as it feels.

When I experience the “letting everyone down” moment, I am typically overwhelmed.

Because high expectations and countless requests are part of my everyday life, I count it a success that most days I can bounce between them all — whether successfully or not — with energy and a smile.

But some days are different. What changes when the routine becomes discouraging?

For me, I am more vulnerable and emotional when I’m overly committed, tired, not exercising and spending too little time in God’s Word.

But even then I don’t tend to move into the “letting everyone down” mode until I begin sensing disappointment from those closest to me that I’m not focused on them enough. It might mean I’m not physically present; it might mean I’m not in tune emotionally; it might mean I’m not doing enough to help out.

Can be crippling

I can’t speak for others nor have I done any research to truly understand where they are and what they are facing, but I know how they are feeling and understand the crippling nature of where it leads.

As for my journey, I’ve determined what I’m sensing in those moments is my own guilt and disappointment in myself. I truly want to be present for everyone in my life and I want to be caring and helpful at all points but sometimes there are more needs than I can handle alone.

It is always hard for me to not step up, jump in or assist. It’s equally as hard for me to admit I’m not always the best or right choice to help and, in some cases, that I’m already overcommitted and can’t add another item to the list.

Working through it

But what about the unexpected serious needs that arise, those things we absolutely know need our attention?

Those are the times we do what we have to do and figure it out in the mix of it all. And we continuously work to build margin in our lives so there’s wiggle room in our schedules to handle the unexpected without taking us down in the process.

Remembering to share the load is another good choice to make. It may mean one person gets more credit than another. It may mean some roles are more popular than others. But if we can humble ourselves to do what needs to be done and not worry about who gets to do what or who gets credit, then we can be a powerful force of assistance in taking care of the need at hand.

I expect a lot of myself and others. Others expect a lot of me. I’m thankful for that because I do believe high expectations keep us sharp, growing and doing our best.

Prioritizing expectations

At the same time, I’m still learning how to prioritize the expectations so those who should be receiving the best of me aren’t getting the leftovers.

I’m also working to give a gift to those in my life I sense are overwhelmed by being super selective about what I ask of them. I’ve decided not to be a person who is only focused on clearing my own to-do list each day.

Instead I want to find something I can do every day to make someone else’s load a little bit lighter (preferably something unexpected) while also being realistic with the load I’m choosing to carry. And with helping someone else comes a bonus blessing that chips away at any discouragement that might be looming — for in that moment I’m lifting others up rather than letting them down.

—Jennifer Davis Rash

When the vision is real but God won’t release us to go for it

Today’s entry in Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost for His Highest” focuses on when we feel we are the person for a job but God seems to hold us back from doing the job at the moment. It can be a very discouraging time, but Chambers says it only means God is preparing us for the vision we know is in us.

“Moses saw the oppression of his people and felt certain that he was the one to deliver them, and in the righteous indignation of his own spirit he started to right their wrongs. After the first strike for God and for the right, God allowed Moses to be driven into blank discouragement, He sent him into the desert to feed sheep for 40 years. … [Moses] was right in the individual aspect, but he was not the man for the work until he had learned communion with God.

“We may have the vision of God and a very clear understanding of what God wants, and we start to do the thing, then comes something equivalent to the 40 years in the wilderness. … We have the vision … but we have not got into God’s stride.”

Have you ever experienced something similar?

What did God teach you during that time?

—Jennifer Davis Rash

Do you know a church leader who is at the point of giving up?

Thom Rainer addresses @BhamBaptists Ministers Conference on May 18. (Photo by Maggie Walsh, TAB)

Thom Rainer addresses @BhamBaptists Ministers Conference on May 18. (Photo by Maggie Walsh, TAB)

BIRMINGHAM — “We may be living in the most precarious times in church history, but we are living in the greatest time of opportunity,” said Thom Rainer, president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources, speaking during the Birmingham Baptist Association Ministers Conference on May 18 at Central Park Baptist Church.

Addressing “5 Critical Issues for the Church in 2015,” Rainer said, “God is not done with us. Let’s say to God that we are ready to start over. I will be bold in the presence of the community as we face” issues of culture, change, comfort, crisis and community.

In Zechariah 4, the temple of the Lord has not been built yet, but the foundation has been sitting there for 10 years, Rainer said. It is time to rebuild the house of God and Zerubbabel is the one to lead the effort. He can’t do it in his strength but by the spirit of the triune God.

But just like Zechariah and Zerubbabel, believers today also face discouragement and obstacles. “Many times we also find ourselves like them,” Rainer said — at the point of giving up because of five critical issues.

To read more about those issues, click here.

What are strategies you have used to overcome similar obstacles and crises?

—Jennifer Davis Rash